Early Morning Thoughts

by loveandothercrap

Boy Child’s new school is extremely different than the public school he attended for kindergarten and first grade. One of the major changes that we are still trying to get accustomed to is that it starts a hour earlier than public school. Bell rings at 8 AM on the dot every morning. For someone who is not a morning person, that is a challenge.

I have this horrible habit of not hearing my alarm clock. My numerous alarm clocks. I even set the darn thing so close to my head that it would break the ear drums of a normal person. Yet, I still manage to sleep right through them at times.

It’s only happened a few times since school started in August, thankfully. And Boy Child wasn’t that late for school, but it’s still a panicky mess when I wake up, realizing that I have less than 10 minutes to get two kids dressed, in the car, and across town.

So, for the past two days, waking up at 5 AM, fifty minutes before my first alarm is even set, has been a strange experience. Especially since I didn’t get into bed until after midnight both nights beforehand.

Monday, I just popped right, freaking out that I was late. I honestly thought I slept through all seven alarms again and that my child was late for school once more. But seeing the clock saying only 5 AM left me confused. I had a dilemma on my hand. Do I go back to sleep for another fifty minutes or do I just wake up and get started with my day?  I choose to stay up, but didn’t get out of bed because honestly, I was too cold to even think about it. (I’m still refusing to turn on the heat this early. I want to make it until November at least!)

Today was a different matter. I still woke up at 5 AM, however it was because Girl Child was bouncing around on my bed. Where she got the energy, especially after refusing to go to bed at a reasonable hour last night, is beyond me. I wish I could have had some because I was not in the mood to get out of bed. Again, I was too cold for that!

Luckily, I was able to get her to calm down slightly. So we had fifty minutes of some serious cuddle time. For the most part, it was nice, expect for the first few hundred times, where she would randomly kick me in the gut. I managed to find a way to pin her legs down without making either of us uncomfortable though.

Those fifty minutes were nice each morning. While I didn’t get all the sleep I would have liked, it did give me time to collect my thoughts for the day. I didn’t think about anything too serious. Just contemplated life is all. Wondering if I was heading in the right direction. Wondering where I was going in life. Wondering if I was doing an okay job as a mother. You know, basic stuff, right?

I did come up with the conclusion that I would like to go back to school. I have been saying this for forever now, but the truth is, I really would like to. But, while being honest, I still don’t know what for. As a high schooler, I thought about going into the criminal justice career, but now that I am a single mother, I don’t know how wise that would be.

I thought about what was out there to do. Nurse? No, I’m not a big fan of blood or needles. Trucker? Can’t do that because I have no one to watch the children while on the road. Lawyer? I got a fear of public speaking.

I still don’t know what would be a good fit for me. However, I plan to do some research on different ideas. I did take a career assessment test once, but it told me I would be an awesome cruise director. As far as I know, that requires being away from kids, like a trucker, so not very reasonable.

I suppose I have a little time until Spring classes start to decide. I could always just take my general education classes for now, get them out of the way, and use that time to really decide.

Now… to start looking up online schools!