An Issue I Get Upset About

by loveandothercrap

I have a rant. I cannot stand single mothers or fathers who feel the need to go out and party every single Friday, Saturday, and possibly Sunday.

Now, I will concur that every parent, whether single or otherwise, needs a break. I can accept it if it’s one or two times a month to go out drinking and partying. I can accept if you want to do a weekly dinner date with your partner. But I cannot accept it when it’s a weekly thing and all you do is go out to get tanked, high, or get laid.

I know a girl who is a repeat offender of this. Every weekend, she bugs me to watch her children. Some weekends I agree to it because it helps me get out of my house since I can’t fit her brood and my brood in my house. However more often than not, I reject in light of the fact that I think her children should spend time with her, not me. (It’s sad when they spend more time with me than their mother because during the week they are at school or the daycare.)

Her oldest tells me that she hates her mother. It breaks my heart. “She never wants to spend time with me. All she wants to do is go to the next club or bar.” This is coming from a girl who is 8 years old. She wants her mother.

My friend always has enough money to go out to these clubs or bars, but hardly ever enough money to buy her children the proper clothes, food, or fun things, like toys. I give her a lot of toys that my children have stopped planning with, just so her kids have something new and exciting to play with.

If my friend is unable to find a sitter for the weekend and is refused the opportunity to go out, she is surly, grumpy, and sulking all week long until she is finally able to go out. She thinks it’s her right to go out every weekend. I agree she has a right to go out at times, but surely not every weekend. I tell her it’s my right to be home with my children, doing fun things like having a movie night or a book night.

I haven’t been out to a bar or club in ages. Not since Girl Child has been born. I am okay with that. I rather spend the time here at home with them. Yes, I might delight in a night off at some point later on, however in the event that I don’t get it, I’m not going to gripe, sulk, or take it out on my youngsters. I choose to put them first when I found out I was pregnant. I just wish other parents didn’t use their children as tax refunds, but actually bothered to spend time with them.

Maybe I would feel differently if my friend’s kids’ father were involved and taking them every weekend. But he isn’t. If the kids were going to another parent, to spend time with them, I think my friend would truly have the right to go out.

I know it’s really not my place to tell her any of this. That’s why I took it to my blog. I know I will never be able to make her see the error of her ways. I just pray and hope one day she will realize she is hurting her children’s feelings and want to spend time with them.

I know this is just my opinion, but this is my blog and I am entitled to share my opinion on my own blog. If others to do not agree with me, I can accept that. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion; there is nothing I can do or say to change that.