Questions Kids Come Up With

by loveandothercrap

I was going to write a post that made me sound smart and cool and 100% not like me. But then I got halfway through it and realized I sounded like a idiot, so I scrapped it.

So I decided to write about questions I have heard so far this week from the children.

Boy Child: Where does the sun go at night?
Me: On the other side of the world.
Boy Child: No, Mom. Where does it really go?
Me: Uh… to bed. It lays down in a big bed.

Boy Child: Where does poop come from?
Me: Your body.
Boy Child: Why does it smell then?
Me: I have no idea… ask your doctor the next time.

Girl Child: Why do birds poop so much? (asked after two birds pooped on my car…)
Me: Because they have small bodies.
Girl Child: I small, I no poop lots.

Girl Child: Why kitty no have pants?
Me: Because the kitty would tear Grandma’s eyeballs out for trying to put pants on her.

Boy Child: Why is there bugs?
Me: Because God hates me.

Boy Child: Where does the Tooth Fairy live?
Me: In Tooth Fairy Land.
Boy Child: Why does she only give me a quarter for my tooth when [child at his school] gets $5?
Me: Because there’s more than 1 tooth fairy. We got the poor one. [Other child] got the one that is rolling in the money.

Boy Child: What’s the point of eyebrows?
Me: So women have something to torture themselves with by pulling them out.

Girl Child: Where’s light?
Me: Whaaaat? It’s on!

Boy Child: Why do giraffes have long necks?
Me: So they can reach their food.
Boy Child: Couldn’t they eat things on the ground so they don’t have to hold up that big neck?
Me: Talk to a giraffe about that…

Girl Child: What’s that noise?
*Asked when in a perfectly silent room.*
Me: Your brain talking to you.

Boy Child: What’s that noise?
*Asked when it’s so loud, with many different noises to choose from*
Me: Things that make my head want to explode.

Boy Child: Why do cats always land on their feet?
Me: Because they are gifted.
Boy Child: Why do you always fall on your face then?
Me: Because I am not a cat nor gifted.

Boy Child: Why do so many people live in our TV screen?
Me: It’s cozy in there.
Boy Child: Can I live in there?
Me: No, I’d miss you too much.

Some of these answers may not have been really said…
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