Thinking Outside the Box

by loveandothercrap

At least once a month I have the stupid urge to want to meet someone, to date someone, to be with someone, etc. I think it’s my body’s biological clock telling me I should be pushing more babies out. Not that I want to push more babies out, ever again, unless Benedict Cumberbatch or Tom Hiddleston told me that they wish me to be their child’s mother or something. (See, chances of that ever happening are so slim, so my body is safe!)

This urge usually lasts about two to four days, at most. However, the month of March has to screw with me and I am currently on day 6 of wanting to meet someone. I don’t even know why… maybe it’s because I saw all the lovey-dovey couples back around Valentine’s Day and my body is like “you waaaaaant that!” My body has a mind of it’s own that is not connected to my real brain.

I stopped myself a few times now from joining dating sites. I used to have a profile on a few, but after my disaster back in October, I deleted them. Still, I didn’t manage to stop myself from Googling the internet about “top choices in boyfriend material.” I know… I got issues!

My Google search seemed to pull up a lot of the same qualities. “Don’t bore me.” “Great listener.” “Pleasing in bed.” “Respectful to me and my family.” “Make me feel beautiful.”

Okay, all great things, I suppose, but… not what I really want. You see, in the search of “true love” for myself, I have to think outside the box because I have 3 people inside the box I have to worry about! So here’s my “perfect boyfriend material.”

1. Must like kids.

Helllllloooo. That’s kind of obvious, right? I have two of them. If my future boyfriend cannot even stand being in the room as children, we aren’t going to get very far in that relationship. Right? I come as a packaged deal.

2. Must not care about having “adult” conversations.

Now, obviously we are going to talk about other things besides Mickey Mouse and Dora the Explorer, but I do not stay current in the world of politics, current news, and whatever else. If it’s not shared on Facebook, chances of me hearing or reading about it are slim to none. Unless it has something to do with kids. I always know the latest updates in kid news. Though, maybe if I have someone to actually talk to about all this stuff, I might make an effort to read up on the current stuff. But… if I don’t, at least my bases are covered then.

3. Must like kid movies.

If we’re having an “at home” date and want to watch a movie, it has to be pretty G or PG. Chances are my kids will be awake. I’m sure we could watch after they go to bed, but… please read number 4.

4. Shall not get mad at me if I fall asleep before 10pm.

Let’s face it. I’m up early every day, running around after the kids, toting them back and forth from places, making meals for them, stopping fights, etc. Some days I am just ready to fall asleep by 10pm. Some days I can force myself to stay awake later, but then I am in zombie mode and not very effective.

5. Gotta be honest, loyal, respectful, and all that other personality stuff that other girls want.

I mean, obviously, right?

So somewhere out there, there might be my knight driving a mini van or SUV. But… I don’t want to find him until much later. Like after the kids are in high school later. Hopefully my “must have man” kick will be over soon so I can be back to my normal-ish, lonely, single self.

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