Disney Lied to Me

by loveandothercrap

I grew up on Disney princess movies. First ever movie experience was the release of Beauty and the Beast. I watched any and all Disney princess movies. I took them to heart. I had a very warped sense of love after all those movies.

At first, I thought my one true love was going to come to me, in the form of a Beast. I needed to save him! At the age of four years old, I went around looking for my Beast, but the only “beast” I ever came across was my orange tabby cat, Copper. I surely wasn’t going to turn him human and marry him; he was like a brother to me!

Then I thought I needed to meet a poor kid who lived on the streets. I looked, but every time I was in town, I never saw any kid who looked like he was starving or living on the streets. Then I realized this wasn’t going to work because I wasn’t even a princess yet. Only Jasmine was able to marry a “street rat” because she already had the princess title!

Okay, no worries. There were several other ways to meet my prince if Disney movies were to be believed!

Next I realized I needed to be in a “deep sleep” so my prince could kiss me awake. Since I didn’t live with seven little guys, I decided to “prick” my finger. I didn’t have a spinning wheel in the house and all my mother’s sewing items were under lock and key, so I used the dull end of a hair barrette. I “pricked” my finger, laid down in bed, closed my eyes, and waited. I was certain I waited all day long (really only about 20 minutes) but no prince came to kiss me awake.

I was starting to get desperate at this point!

I cut my hair, dressed like a boy, and tried to do “boy things.” It worked for Mulan, so obviously it was going to work for me! Really, I just got teased for having a stupid hair cut and boy clothes. I was even mistaken for a boy by adults. I had to scrap the boy clothes, but had to wait a very long time for my hair to grow back to shoulder length.

I looked far and wide for a Fairy Godmother. I had a godmother, my mother’s sister, but she wasn’t a “Fairy Godmother.”

I wished on twinkling stars.

I rubbed every lamp I could find, hoping to meet a Genie.

I tried singing to chipmunks.

Nothing worked!

Disney lied to me. My poor, innocent heart was broken.

Now that I am older, I realize how much of a naive little girl I really was. However, I still wish from time to time that there were such things as genies and fairy godmothers. Then I remember I don’t care to get married. So the moment passes. Phew.

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