Backseat Parenting: Learn When to Speak and When to Shut Up
I’m part of a Facebook group that’s sole purpose is to let people “vent and rant.” As long as it’s something you want to get off your chest, you can post about it. I’ve made a few posts about my awful neighbors or my child’s idiotic school/the parents. Sometimes the other members share advice, their experience on the topic, or just offer an ear to listen to your woes. For the most part, it’s a nice community and most of the members are awesome.
However, there’s always that one bad apple in the bunch.
Now before I begin the tale, I just want to say I was not part of the convo. I was asleep when the fists were flying, but I got to read it after my morning coffee. And boy, was it a sight to read.
A girl posted about her family, saying they don’t help out around the house. Since it’s a rant, she said something along the lines of, “Child, I can throw your toys away for punishment if you decide to disobey me!” Now, as far as I know, every kid has had at least one toy taken away by their parents because they were misbehaving. I lost a few toys myself, but nine times out of ten, I got them back. There were a few that were given away to other kids though because my mother felt I didn’t deserve them after my epic tantrums. And now as a parent, I totally understand it, and totally agree with her decisions.
Well, according to strung-out chick, this is considered abuse.
Yes, that’s right. It’s abuse apparently.
Other folks pointed out that it’s not the same as abuse. It’s form of punishment. However, this strung-out chick wasn’t going to debate nicely, and a bunch of hate-filled words were thrown around. Strung-out chick considered it not only abuse, but stealing because the parents are taking away the child’s property. As far as I know, a child didn’t buy half of their toys. I bought most of my kids’ toys, with the exception of a few gifts they received from their grandparents. So, it would be considered my property, and I am free to do what I please with my property.
I don’t consider this abuse. Like I said, my mother took my toys away when I was a child, and my mother was far from abusive. A lot of the other posters said their parents took their toys away too, but refused to call their parents abusive. When I take my kids’ toy away, they quickly realize they were wrong and set off to make things right. And you can bet they never do it again.
I don’t spank my kid. My daughter is still too young to understand groundings, though we do a few timeouts occasionally. It seems to a lot of folks, any form of punishment for children is considered abuse now. And it’s normally those who don’t even have children, so they have no idea what they are talking about.
I don’t do well with backseat parenting. If I ask for your advice, then you can tell me, but to just lay your own opinion down so heavily, in a hate-spewing way, then your advice is rubbish.
In the end, this strung-out chick ended up banned from the group after she kept saying, “ALL YOU PARENTS ARE FUCKING ABUSING YOUR KIDS WITH THIS BULLSHIT.” About 85% of the group are parents of children ages ranging from newborn to adult, so it wasn’t appreciated. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but you have to be respectful when you speak it.
Hopefully she isn’t planning on having children though. She might just let them run around without giving them any sort of punishment at all. Because that is always good for a child, right? -eye roll-