Impatient Drivers: World would be a lot safer without you!

by loveandothercrap

Dear Impatient Driver,

I’m sorry that I will not speed to your liking. I have precious cargo in the back seat, and feel going more than five or ten over the speed limit is too risk taking for me. We all have somewhere to be, I understand; however, you are not going to get there faster if you cause an accident along the way. Besides, I can only go so fast as the car in front of me, so there is no reason to be flashing your bright lights at me, yelling as if I can hear you from your car to mine, or honking at me. Calm your tits dude.

With all due respect,A Reasonable Driver


I was driving home from my parents’ house today. Naturally we left shortly before the start of rush hour, so we hit it during the halfway mark of our journey. Even though traffic was flowing reasonably well, considering the time, there was that one Lexus driver who viewed himself king of the road. I watched him, rather on the edge of my mind’s seat, zig zagging through traffic in my rear view mirror. He cut off a handful of cars, but then realized he wasn’t going to get past me because the lanes went from two down to one.

Even with fifteen cars or so in front of me, it was apparently my fault traffic was not moving to his liking. And apparently, I am the sole reason the lights were changing to red and we were being stopped, even though three cars in front of me had to stop as well. I turned down my music, rolled down my window, and could hear Lexus driver over the outdoor noises. I quickly realized I had to roll my windows up and block out the tirade because it was not at all kid friendly.

When the road opened back up to two lane, he zipped past me at neck breaking speeds. I wasn’t at all sorry to see him pulled over to the side of the road with a cop behind him about three miles ahead. Instant karma, baby. I just hope he didn’t kill anyone after he was allowed to take off.

Calm your tits before you get behind the wheel! Here, have a picture of some kitties telling you to calm down.